The Wedding Reception

Once the ceremony is over it is time to eat

First steps

As with many areas of wedding planning, your budget will help dictate where to hold your reception, the type of food and drink to serve and the number of people to invite. Remember that your guests will appreciate a quantity of quality food presented well rather than a small plate of complicated food with expensive decorations and so now is the time to work out how much money you have to spend.

To some couples, the finest wines and the choicest delicacies are worth splashing out on, for others, food is secondary to entertainment, bridal attire and flowers. The choice is yours but, as a general guide, an average 40% of the entire wedding budget is spent on the reception.

Once you have established a budget, it is time to decide on a venue. Many civil ceremony venues also have room for your reception, but if you are marrying in a church, register office or venue that cannot accommodate your reception then you might choose a hotel, stately home, hall or pub for your celebrations. If you want to hold your reception at a private house then be sure you have plenty of space to comfortably accommodate all of your guests.

Choosing a caterer

Now that you have decided on the type of reception venue you want then it is time to choose between using the in-house catering on offer, hiring an outside catering firm or catering yourselves.

Many venues have in-house caterers that provide all the food and drink services for celebrations held there. These caterers will be familiar with the styles of meal that their chefs specialise in and will also be able to provide tables and chairs, linen, crockery, glasses, waiting staff and some decorations.

If you have specific catering requirements like needing Halal or Kosher meals then the venue may not be able to accommodate your wedding or they may allow you to book outside caterers. Similarly, if there is no in-house catering then ask for recommendations from the venue or friends or relatives. Also check the Yellow Pages and local newspapers for contacts.

Draw up a shortlist of potential caterers and arrange an appointment to discuss your specific requirements and compare prices and services. Ask to see specific example menus, price list and testimonials from other brides and grooms and inquire about the type of wedding packages they offer. Ask each caterer the same questions about their service, ingredients and any added extras so you get comparable quotes from each.

Useful questions to ask your caterer

• Do you only have set menus or can we create our own?

• How many options can we offer for each course?

• Can any special dietary needs can be dealt with?

• Can we taste a sample of your food?

• I am holding my reception at home/in a marquee/in a hall. Will my food will be pre-cooked and prepared or do you need any cooking or storage facilities?

• Is wine included in a package with food?

• Do you charge corkage if we buy our own wine?

• If wine is provided, will we be charged for the amount of bottles ordered or for just those that are opened?

• How many other drinks are included in the package? What soft drinks are included? (Some include a drink as the guests arrive and then a certain number of bottles of wine per guest, along with fruit juices).

• How much clearing up will be done after the reception? (Some caterers will clear only the kitchens while others will wait until the end of the entire evening and clear everything away. In-house caterers will usually clear up more at the end of the evening.)

• Do you provide for waiting staff in your quote?

• How near the wedding date can we confirm final numbers?

Self-catering your wedding

This is now the least popular option because most couples feel they have enough to worry about on their wedding day without being responsible for the finer details of catering. Taking care of the food for your wedding is a big responsibility, but a highly-organised bride with a dedicated team of helpers should be able to manage. You will need to make sure there is plenty of food for your guests, that it is well presented and that you cater for any special dietary requirements. There is a limit to the amount of food that can be prepared in advance. The setting out of the reception will have to be done at the same time as the preparations for the ceremony, and it is here, if nowhere else, that helpers can come into their own.

Before choosing this option, ask yourselves a couple of questions: Do you have the time and experience to cope with planning menus and catering for large number, access to the right kind of equipment in large enough quantities, and a supply of willing friends and relatives to help with this mammoth task? Perhaps one friend could take overall responsibility for the catering with the rest of the team reporting to him/her rather than you. This will take some of the strain off you, but keep the cost of catering down.

It is more simple to self-cater a buffet as it is easier to estimate the quantities of food you need and you can provide a variety of hot and cold items that do not need to be cooked and served simultaneously. As a guide, professional caterers allow approximately fifteen to twenty items of food per guest, so simply multiply this by the number of guests you invite. Make sure you have enough furniture, china, cutlery and glassware or hire from a catering firm for the day. Some off-licences offer a discount if you hire glasses at the same time as ordering your wine.

When it comes to presenting your buffet food, the simplest way is often the most effective. Ask the staff at your venue if they have any table linen you could hire, or buy paper tablecloths and napkins in the colour scheme of your wedding. Basic plates are fine for displaying your food, and use a few some simple flower or candle arrangements to decorate your tables.

If you decide to have a sit-down meal you will need to consider table settings for all of your guests and provide waiting staff to serve your food. It is possible to hire waiters and waitresses but this can be an expensive option. Consider asking friends of teenage bridesmaids to help, and delegate responsibility of organising them to someone else.

Choosing the type of meal

Now the fun begins! A caterer will be able to offer menu and drink advice depending on your budget, style of wedding and number of guests. When deciding on portion amounts, it is worth remembering that guests will be happier if there is enough simple food to go around, rather than spectacular food in small portions.

Formal meal

A traditional wedding breakfast has three courses, but as many as six is not unusual. Many caterers offer a variety of set menus, or selection of dishes to choose from. If you like the idea of having more than the standard three courses, ask if a sorbet can be served between the starter and main course, and whether cheese and biscuits with a selection of fruit can be served as another course after your dessert. A fish course is another option if you wish to have a long feast! Be aware that you may only be to provide one choice of main course with a formal meal, which has to appeal to all your guests, although special meals may be provided for children and vegetarians.

A sit-down meal is not necessarily the most expensive option, although feel free to push the boat out if your budget will allow. You can be as creative as you want as long as you cater to the tastes of the majority of your guests. You and your close friends may love to go out for sushi but will everyone else feel the same?

Starters should compliment the main course you choose, and do offer an opportunity to try something different. If you have a high proportion of vegetarian guests, it is perfectly acceptable to serve one vegetarian starter for all of your guests.

The main course is usually hot and sometimes it is easier to serve a one-plate meal if you have a high proportion of vegetarian guests. If you have silver service waiting staff coming round with beautiful vegetables that double-up on the vegetarian option or include potatoes that cannot be added to a plate of rice or pasta then you may make these guests feel excluded. Dessert is the high point of any meal. Chocolate is always a popular choice, and a fruit option is often welcome after a heavier main course. Cheese and biscuits could be served either as a further course or as an alternative to a sweet dessert.

Here are some examples of the type of food you may like to serve:

Starters:

Budget - Wild mushroom soup with herb bread Mid-range - Salad of smoked salmon served with avocado and a Hollandaise sauce Expensive - Tempura of squid and seasoned vegetables served with cucumber pickle

Main Course:

Budget - Traditional roast chicken with all the trimmings Mid-range - Rack of lamb, aubergine, baby vegetables and peppered beetroot Expensive - Breast of pan-fried duckling marinated in soy and saki, served with honey sauce and deep fried oriental vegetables

Dessert:

Budget - Fresh fruit skewers with cream and chocolate dips Mid-range - Summer pudding with tender fruit compote and clotted cream Expensive - Rich chocolate, rum and pistachio pudding with raspberry parfait

Vegetarian suggestions

Starters:

Budget - Deep fried goats cheese with marinated grilled vegetables Mid-range - Peppers, tomatoes, mozzarella and basil bruschetta with extra virgin olive oil dressing Expensive - Herb risotto cake with grilled corn relish and warm wild mushroom salad

Main Course:

Budget - Mediterranean vegetable en croute Mid-range - Spinach timbales with sun-dried tomatoes and pine nuts Expensive - Blue cheese soufflés with steamed chard and asparagus

Dessert:

This can be the same as above providing you check for any animal fats.Finish the meal with tea and coffee served with mints. A hot drink is often welcome after a meal, and serving these can actually save on your alcohol bill. If you are holding a Jewish wedding then you will want to serve tea and coffee a while after the rest of the food, so have a dessert with your meal and save your cake for the drinks later.

Buffet

You can serve on of two types of buffet, finger or fork.

Finger:

bite-sized food that is easy to eat without a table or cutlery. This gives guests a chance to mingle and eat at the same time. Finger buffets are suitable for low-key weddings, or as a way of providing food for guests who attend the latter part of the reception after the main meal.

Fork:

this offers a wider choice of food such as cold meats, fish, pasta, salads and hot and cold dishes. A fork buffet requires cutlery and will probably need somewhere for some or all guests to sit whilst they eat.

Don't feel restricted to sausage rolls and cheese sandwiches. Your caterer will be able to offer you a wide selection of food, such as canapes with various fillings, trout and horseradish on herb muffins, sushi, deep fried breaded mushrooms with dips, salmon and lobster cakes, vegetable crudites, cheese and herb straws or mini crab salads.

You may want to set up separate food stations to accommodate a variety of tastes. Think about an area for pizzas and bite-size mozarellas, one for oriental food another for roast meats and one for Greek-style meze.

Desserts can be served as part of a buffet meal. Some caterers can serve miniature desserts that can be eaten with the fingers in the same way as the main course - mini pies and tarts, baby profiteroles or small moulded puddings with cream inside will look fab and taste great.

Choosing a food theme

If you have a strong theme for your reception then incorporate a menu to match. For example, a Mediaeval banquet with wild meats, bread and cheese, pints of ale and plenty of garden vegetables would go down a treat. You could be proud of traditional English food and serve bangers and mash followed by Bakewell tart or traditional roast beef and Yorkshire pudding followed by spotted dick or jelly and ice cream!

For a wedding with a blue or green colour scheme, try a seafood theme for your reception food. A salmon salad starter followed by a tuna steak main course will provide some variety of texture, your dessert could be served in shell-shaped brandy baskets and your wedding cake be decorated to match.

If you and your groom have differing tastes then why not serve his favourite dessert to your male guests and yours to the girls? Or, why not break with tradition and offer an English garden reception? Instead of hiring a marquee, provide your guests with a picnic hamper packed with goodies, a bottle of wine or soft drinks per couple and a rug. This is a very romantic way for guests to mingle with each other and add to the informal atmosphere of your celebrations.

The low-down on drink

Whether you want the alcohol flowing or to provide an interesting mix of tasty soft drinks, no-one wants to keep their guests thirsty. Start by checking out exactly what drinks are included in your wedding catering packages. Most venues can include a basic reception drink (Bucks Fizz or sparkling wine) one or two glasses of house wine and a glass of champagne or sparkling wine for the toasts per person.

You will then need to pay for any drinks above this quota and if you want to offer a bigger variety or better quality tipples. Just as with your food, it is better to provide enough drink from a limited choice of brands than scrimp over quantity in order to set up a dazzling array of choice in your bar. Stick to the most popular types of drink - water, wine, beer and fizzy drinks.

When catering for your own wedding then you need to provide your own drinks. Your reception venue may be able to give you a deal or have a local contact that can help. If not, you can get bulk discounts from off-licences, supermarkets and vineyards or even abroad on a 'booze cruise'! France is a popular choice destination, but make sure you are prepared with a smattering of French and a calculator to help with exchange rates. Do add up the extra costs you may encounter such as hiring a larger vehicle and the cross-channel ferry tickets. Compare these expenses with the amount you actually save per bottle.

If a trip to the continent does not work out to be cost effective, try looking for local vineyards in the Yellow Pages. These establishments are often in a position to offer quite a substantial discount for bulk buying, especially if the order is placed well in advance. A locally produced wine will provide a conversation point at your wedding. The amount of drink you need is explained later.

Welcoming your guests to the reception with a drink

It is usual to offer guests a drink as they arrive at the reception venue. This could be a glass of sherry, Bucks Fizz or champagne. Alternatively have some fun with alcoholic or fruit cocktails. If you are having a summer garden wedding then serve Pimms or go for a warming glass of mulled wine for a Christmas-time reception. For those guests who are driving, are non-drinkers and for children, offer soft drinks or interesting alternatives like Elderflower pressé that look like champagne.

Drink to serve with the meal

Wine is the most popular choice to accompany your wedding breakfast, but beer could be served as well if you prefer. One groom could not stand wine, champagne or any grape-based drink, so served jugs of his native Yorkshire bitter to his guests. Make sure you provide a selection of non-alcoholic drinks, perhaps a mixed fruit punch or unusual fruit juices as an alternative to standard orange juice. Water should always be available, and may be included in the package your venue or caterers provide. When choosing wines, select one that will complement the menu you have chosen and make sure you taste it before the day.

Which wine with what meat?

Red wine should be served with red meat, and white wine with white meat, fowl and fish. White wine for the main course should be reasonably dry, while a sweet wine may be served with dessert. A white wine may also be served with the starter. Red wine is never served before white, because it overpowers the palate, similarly sweet wine should never be served before a dry variety.

Drink for the toasts

Traditionally, the newly-weds are toasted with champagne but if you have a small budget then why not serve a good quality sparkling wine which may actually be preferred by some guests?

Drink for the evening

There are three options when deciding who will pay for reception the drinks. If your venue has a bar then you could pick up the tab for all the drinks although this can be difficult to budget for. A better idea may be to put a set amount of money behind the bar so that some drinks are free for your guests, or offer either wine, beer or soft drinks for free and anything else is to be paid for.

Quantities of drink

Allow roughly half a bottle of wine per guest. The true number of bottles required will also depend upon whether your guests are heavy wine drinkers, or if there is a greater proportion of drivers attending. If your guests will be dancing the night away make sure you provide plenty of soft drinks to quench their thirst. Placing jugs of iced fruit cordial or lemonade around the room may cut down on the amount of alcohol drunk, as guests who are thirsty from dancing prefer a refreshing soft drink to a dehydrating alcoholic one.

If you are providing drink yourself then try to get as many bottles as possible on a sale or return basis. This way you will not run out of drink but you will only pay for the bottles that are used.

Use this handy guide to work out how much drink to order:

• Small wine glass = 2 fl oz
• Cocktail glass = 1/4 pint
• Sherry glass = 1/4 pint
• Large wine glass = 1/4 pint
• Tumbler = 1/2 pint
• 6 glasses of wine per bottle
• 6 glasses of champagne per bottle (12 glasses if serving Buck's Fizz)
• 7 schooners (large glasses) of sherry per bottle

Pints are easier to estimate, and guests either drink pints or halves of bitter or lager. Don't forget to allow for those who drink shandy, as this is a popular option for drivers.